were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize