Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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