I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I love you. Go after that dick
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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