If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
