My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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