a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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