Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Dear god my vagina.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
