Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
