what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize