Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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