We got so high we made milksteak
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
