Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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