And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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