The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
