I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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