So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
