It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
