this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
