the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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