I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
