): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
