why didn't you poke me back
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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