I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
its liver damage thursday
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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