Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize