I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
