And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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