Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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