how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
