From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
