Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
i now understand why vodka
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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