home. puking in laundry basket.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
