I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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