And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
