He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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