I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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