Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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