i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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