so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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