On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
