You're completely useless in the revolution.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize