you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
The Olympian is in my bed
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
