i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
