Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
sarcasm needs its own font
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
