Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
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