She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Randomize
