Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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