Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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