'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize