I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
