oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I would ride that face into the sunset
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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