I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
