I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
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