just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
