dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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