If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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