Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
either way he was missing a nipple.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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