I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Tornado booty call.. dedication
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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