I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
