I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Farmville is her only friend.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
