just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
zippers are such a cool invention
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
