apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize