is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
He better not be in your backpack
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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