I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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