I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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