so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
